Arrive Alive~ Don't Drink & Drive || History & Purpose

History & Purpose

This web site was originally designed to share the story of my firstborn son, Robert Church, who died at the age of 20 as a result of driving while intoxicated. The desired intent was to have his story "drive home the reality" of just how dangerous driving while intoxicated can be, and hopefully influence others to not make the same choices he made that cost him his life. From the day he died I've always said to myself, "Thank God he didn't cause the death of anyone else that fateful day." Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine I would one day be expanding this web site to include a story about his brother, Douglas. Sadly, in Doug's case, I can't say to myself "Thank God he didn't cause the death of anyone else that fateful day," because he did.

On August 11, 2006 Doug made the choice to drive after drinking alcohol. That choice resulted in the death of a 35-year-old woman. Three children lost their mother that night. A man lost his wife. A mother lost her daughter. Siblings lost a sister. The lives of an entire innocent family were shattered and forever changed. This was a tragedy that never would have happened if my son had made the right choice that night. No amount of remorse or regret on Doug's part will ever be able to erase the devastation his choice that night caused. It's a tragedy beyond description.

When you read Robert’s story you will see that I spoke at his funeral. My purpose was to get the young people to think about why we were having a funeral in the first place, and to ask them to learn from Robert’s mistakes and not repeat them. I challenged them on their belief of being “invincible”… that bad thing only happen to “other people.” Based on comments I received later from young people as well as adults, it seemed that I reached a few of them.

A few weeks after Robert’s funeral it dawned on me that although the vast majority of teenagers in our little town of 2,500 people were present, there were still some who were not. No doubt some could not get off work, or perhaps were a few years younger and did not know Robert personally. There were so many lessons to be learned from that fateful weekend. How could I reach those who were not at the funeral?

Our town, like many of its size, has a weekly newspaper. I decided to write Robert’s story and have it published in our paper. If they didn’t consider it “newsworthy” I would buy ad space. It didn’t matter. All that mattered was reaching young people with Robert’s story while his death was still fresh on everyone’s mind. Our newspaper, The West News, graciously donated a full page to print the story. Although young people are usually not ones to read a newspaper, I felt their parents would be sure their sons and daughters read Robert’s story. That they did.

On the day the newspaper was printed I started receiving phone calls, mostly from parents, telling me that they were going to have their kids who drove read the article that evening, or save it for later when their children were at the appropriate age. I also received a few letters, again mostly from parents. The most response came in the form of emails, as I included my email address in the article. (I asked that anyone who may have pictures of Robert, especially any taken at the parade he was in on his final day, to please contact me. I included my email address in the article for that reason.)

Many of the emails I received were from young people. In addition to the usual extensions of sympathy, a large number of them wrote to say that reading Robert’s story made them realize that they indeed were not invincible, and promised to never drink and drive, or get into a vehicle with a driver who had been drinking. That confirmed to me that Robert’s story had the potential to change some lives, the very reason I wrote it.

Friends and business associates in Waco, 15 miles south of West, heard about the article and asked me if I had a copy of what I had written. I emailed them the text of Robert’s story. Many of them forwarded the story to others on their “email list”. Soon I was receiving email from all over the United States. That is when I realized the power and reach of the Internet. Many were from students who found Robert’s web page in the course of doing research for a school assignment or project. And again, many of them wrote to say how Robert’s story had changed their views on drinking and driving, and made them realize that what happened to Robert could indeed happen to them.

Because I do presentations of Robert’s story to young people in schools, juvenile probation departments, churches, etc., I wanted the name of the website to be easy to remember, hoping they would come here and read more about the dangers of drinking and driving. I selected the name “Arrive Alive” and discovered that Warner Brothers owned the domain name "http://www.arrivealive.com". It led to a movie listing site that showed no apparent reference to the words “arrive alive.” Warner Brothers was kind enough to release ownership of the domain name to me when they learned why I was requesting it.

In addition to the expanded information, links and resources that I have included in this website, I also have shared some of my personal revelations that resulted from Robert’s death. Robert’s mistakes are not the only ones that others can learn from. Parents can hopefully learn from mine as well. I encourage every parent to read the page titled “A Father’s Regrets.” I have tried to make it clear that this website is not about a “pity party” for Robert’s dad. It’s about learning from other people’s mistakes, and as a parent I made my share as well.

I have also received email from other parents who have lost a son or daughter. With that in mind, I have also included links and resources pertaining to grief. If you are grieving the loss of a loved one I encourage you to explore this section.

I wish to clarify that the intent of this website is NOT to promote prohibition. Those of legal age have the right to purchase and consume alcohol. But if you drive after drinking, just as I did for over 30 years, you are endangering not only yourself but anyone who may be in your path. Doug's story is a vivid reminder of that fact.

Please take some time and explore the various sections of this website. Meet some of the people whose lives were lost or changed forever because someone chose to drink and drive. And if you are ever under the influence of alcohol or any other substance and consider getting behind the wheel and driving, I pray your mind will take you back to something you read on this web site and cause you to make the right choice.