Who Was Robert Church?

             Robert was my firstborn son.  He was born in Cleburne, Texas, a town of about 20,000 people at the time, which is located 20 miles southwest of Fort Worth.  He was named after his mother’s deceased father.  The “Thomas” in his name was for several ancestors on my side of the family.

Robert was a happy baby, and I don’t say that just because he was my son.  He rarely cried, had an infectious laugh and smile, and was a very affectionate child.  He was also a “ham” who loved to have his picture taken.

Robert did the same things most other boys’ do.  He was in Cub Scouts, played little league baseball and some sports in school.  Although he was not a gifted athlete, Robert played his heart out in sports and loved the camaraderie with his teammates.  He loved to fish and swim.  He also loved to water ski.

            I think Robert was about twelve when he met his first girlfriend at a weeklong church camp near Austin, Texas.  He was brokenhearted when camp was over.  His “puppy love” romance continued through letters for a while, and we took him to Austin once or twice to see to visit his “girlfriend.”  But some of the girls in West had their eyes on him and the long distance romance did not survive.  Robert was rarely without a girlfriend in his high school years.

            Schoolwork came easy for Robert.  He was one of those who rarely studied.  He did much of his homework during study hall at school.  He could read something one time and remember it.  He was often on the honor roll.

            Robert got a part time in high school and worked first as a dishwasher at a local restaurant, and later washing cars at the local Chevrolet dealership.  Another after school job included working at a local auction barn, separating and loading horses and livestock for the buyers.  He also hauled hay in the summer months and built fences for some local ranchers for extra money.  Robert was not afraid of hard work.

Like most teenage boys in small towns such as ours, Robert loved pickup trucks.  His grandmother gave him $3,000 to buy his first truck.  Robert spent many hours “tinkering” with that truck.  He loved working with his hands.  He learned his mechanical skills at the Chevy dealership where he worked, and in the vocational agricultural class that he took in high school.  He was an officer in his FFA (Future Farmer’s of America) class.  Robert loved his “Ag” class, and two scholarships in his name are awarded each year to deserving graduates of that class.

            Upon graduation from high school Robert enrolled in a community college in Waco to begin training for a business degree.  I was in television advertising sales, and like most boys, Robert wanted to “be like his dad.”  But the thought of wearing a tie everyday played on his mind, and he soon confided to me that he didn’t think he would be happy in a tie with an office.  He loved working with his hands and solving problems.  I talked to one of my clients who was with a major air conditioning company in Waco and asked him about the potential of a career in that field.  I was told that industry was becoming more and more high tech with computerized commercial air conditioning and heating systems, and that Robert could make a very good living in that field.

            Robert felt that was something he would be happy doing, because he could be “working with his head as well as his hands.”  We enrolled him in the heating and refrigeration classes at Texas State Technical College in Waco.  Robert’s goal was to work a few years for a major company in Waco and then start his own air conditioning business like many had done.  He wanted his brother Doug (2 ½ years younger than him) to also learn the trade so they could be partners in their own company someday.  At the time of his death, Robert was working part time on the assembly line at a company that manufacturers air conditioning compressors while studying at T.S.T.C.

            Robert had developed into quite a ladies man.  He has a “killer smile”, (thanks to $3,000 at the orthodontist), and a personality to match.  Robert was very loyal to his friends and I honestly don’t think he had a single enemy.  He was quite a dancer and was the favorite dancing partner of many of the girls who “ran in his crowd.”  There are several dance halls in our area and Robert and his friends frequented them regularly.  Some of his friends were of legal drinking age, but none of them seemed to have a problem getting beer.  Robert was a “party boy” and definitely the “life of the party.” 

            Whenever one of his friends was having problems in a relationship with their boyfriend or girlfriend, they often turned to Robert for advice.  Robert was a good listener, which I guess is why he became the “Dear Abby” of his group of friends.  As one of his friends said, “Robert was a ‘straight up’ kind of guy.  You always knew where you stood with him.  If you asked him for advice, he’d tell it like it was.  He’d say ‘If you do this, either this or that will happen.’  He didn’t beat around the bush.”

            Robert’s first “brush with the law” regarding alcohol occurred when he was 15 or 16.  He was charged with MIP (Minor in Possession of alcohol) and received the customary small fine, some community service and attendance in the state six-hour alcohol awareness class. 

            Shortly after Robert received his MIP citation, I took him to the Waco Convention Center to see a presentation by a former critical care flight nurse.  She is one of several people that Anheuser Busch sends across the country to do presentations to young people on the dangers of drinking and driving.  She showed color slides of the many alcohol related crashes she was called to, telling the stories of several young people who lost their lives in these crashes.  It was a powerful presentation.  Many of the students were in tears as they got a “dose of reality” of what can happen.  Robert was one of them.  I hoped what he would saw would have an impact on his own decisions.  Obviously it did not.

            At age 19 Robert again found himself in trouble with the law.  This time he received a DWI.  The penalty was more severe.  He was jailed and had to be bonded out.  He lost his driver’s license and had to pay over $400 to get an occupational driver’s license that allowed him to drive only certain hours and only to work or school.  He had a larger fine, court costs, and attorney fees.  Because he had not caused a wreck or hurt anyone, he received a one year probated sentence, with monthly probation fees and visits.  His truck insurance rates almost tripled.  Those were some very expensive beers he drank that night.

            Robert continued to drink and drive in spite of the huge cost he paid that was associated with his DWI.  On Labor Day Weekend 2000 he paid the ultimate price.

            Please take the time to read Robert’s story.  If you are one who puts yourself in the same position that Robert did on that fateful weekend, please learn from his mistakes.  That is why this website exists.  If you are a parent, please read the section titled “A Father’s Regrets.”  You may find lessons there that you could benefit from.

            Last year, when speaking to an assembly of high school students, I opened the floor for questions after my presentation, which I often do.  A young girl asked me, “What do think Robert would think about what you are doing now, telling everyone about how he died?”

            Without reservation I replied, “Robert loved people as much as he loved life itself.  He was a good kid who simply got caught up in the “party mode” that everyone was in that weekend and he made some bad choices that cost him his life.  I have no doubt that if he had survived the crash it would be him standing before you today sharing his story.  Robert would not want what happened to him to happen to anybody.  He was just that kind of guy.”

Robert Thomas Church

(1979 – 2000)

This site is best viewed with Netscape 6.0 or Microsoft Internet Explorer 5.5 and higher.