Jury Sentences Church to

30 years in prison

That was the headline in local news in our area on July 24, 2008.  The Church they were referring to is Robert's brother, Douglas.  Once again the tragic consequences that can result when someone makes the decision to drive after drinking were made evident on August 11, 2006.  On that evening Doug left a friend's house, where he had been drinking beer, and attempted to drive home.  At approximately 11 p.m. on that night, on a two lane, paved farm road, he attempted to pass a friend in front of him in a no passing zone.  As he approached a hill, a 35-year-old mother and her three children were traveling from the opposite direction, on their way home after having just attended the local annual rodeo.  When it became obvious to the mother, Debbie French, that they were about to collide, she swerved to the ditch on her right.  Unfortunately Doug swerved toward that ditch also, trying to avoid a collision.  Instead he hit the Debbie's truck almost head on in the ditch.  She died at the scene of the crash.  Her three children all sustained serious injuries, with the youngest being critically injured.  This is a tragedy beyond imagination.  Doug's decision to drive while intoxicated that night destroyed an innocent family.  Three children lost their mother, a husband lost his wife, a mother lost her daughter, siblings lost their sister.  So many lives were impacted.  It doesn't matter that Doug did not get into his truck that night with the intention of causing serious injury and death.  He made a poor choice that resulted in tragedy.  His remorse cannot undo the damage that resulted from that choice.  He never denied his responsibility for the crash and pled guilty once the charges were filed.

Before I continue with Doug's story I want to make a few comments.  If you have already read Robert's story before arriving at this page, you hopefully sensed that his story was told with what some might describe as "brutal honesty."  Doug's story will be told the same way, not "turning a blind eye" to the mistakes he made.  The whole purpose of sharing the stories of my sons is to hopefully prevent others from making the same choices that these young men made.  The reality of the consequences of their choices, and how those choices affected so many lives, must be acknowledged if any lessons are to be learned from the mistakes they made.  By doing so it should in no way be misconstrued as a lack of love or compassion on my part for either of my sons.  There is no love stronger than the love of a parent for their children, and the love in my heart for both of my sons is beyond measure.  I have wished a million times that I could trade places with either of them, so that they would live full and happy lives, but life doesn't work that way.  God knows I wish it did.

Years ago, before Doug's crash, I was sharing Robert's story in a school presentation to middle and high school students.  It was a small school system and they had their entire middle and high school students gathered together in a single assembly for the presentation.  At the conclusion of my school presentations, if the school allows and time permits, I "open the floor for questions" from the students.  At this particular assembly a girl I would guess to be 13 or 14-years-old asked me "How do you think Robert would feel about you coming into schools and telling kids about what he did?"  Without hesitation I replied "I believe that if Robert had survived his crash HE would be here telling his story, because he loved people, and he wouldn't want what happened to him to happen to anyone.  That's just the kind guy he was."

When I talked to Doug about sharing his story he told me point blank, "Don't sugar coat it, Dad.  People have GOT to know what can happen, and that they can't go back and undo the damage once it's done."  

Before I continue I want to make one thing perfectly clear.  Douglas Church was NOT a victim in this tragic story, and I'm certainly not trying to portray him as one.  The true victims in this story are Debbie French and the grieving family that survived her.  For years I have postponed putting this story on this web site, but I can't postpone it any longer.  Too many people are still being injured or killed because someone made the choice to drive while under the influence of alcohol or drugs.  

If you EVER consider driving while under the influence of ANY substance, and Robert's story, or another story shared on this web site don't cause you to decide to call for a ride with a non-impaired driver, or simply stay where you are until you are no longer under the influence, it is my hope that Doug's story will help you make the right choice.

With Doug's consent and support, here is his "un-sugar coated" story, told:

In Memory of Debbie (Selman) French, (October 31, 1970-August 11, 2006)

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

The Early Years

As I tell in my school presentations, Robert and Douglas were as close as two brothers could ever be.  I describe them as like salt and pepper; inseparable.  Doug idolized Robert, just as many younger brothers do.  Yet they were as different as night and day.  Robert was an extrovert and Doug was an introvert.  Robert was outgoing and could talk to anyone without reservations.  Doug was shy and it took him awhile to "open up" to people.  Robert had a sharp and instantaneous wit about him.  Doug had a more reserved, dry wit.  

I remember when Doug was about 8-years-old a wart developed on one of his legs, just above the kneecap.  After over the counter liquid meds failed we took him to our family doctor.  The doctor said he needed to burn the wart off.  I can still see that day as if it were only yesterday; Doug maybe 4 feet tall and all of 50 pounds, with his legs dangling of the end of the examination table.  Like most kids, Doug hated needles and refused to take a shot around the wart area to deaden the pain.  This was prior to laser technology and the doctor was using what looked like a dentist's electric drill, but it sparked and sounded like a policeman's taser gun.  You could actually see the electrical charge touching the wart and the wart began to smoke.  I can only imagine the pain Doug was feeling.  I looked at Doug as he sat there in silence and fought back tears.  After about the third "zap" on the wart Doug calmly said through gritted teeth "Doc, if you do that again I'm gonna have to hurt you."  That was an example of his dry wit.  It took the doctor a minute to regain his composure before he could finish the procedure.

In school Robert was a regular on the Honor Roll.  He had an amazing reading comprehension level and homework was a breeze for him.  Doug, on the other hand, struggled.  He got easily frustrated.  I had my challenges in school as well, and breathed a sigh of relief as I watched him walk across that stage to receive his high school diploma.  By that time he was deeply in love with his high school sweetheart.  Doug did "just enough to get by" as far as school was concerned.  His primary focus was his girlfriend, even though he and Robert were still very close. 

Like Robert, Doug was mechanically inclined, and they spent many hours working side by side on their trucks.  Doug was most comfortable outdoors.  He loved to water ski, fish, and was an avid deer hunter.   

Both Robert and Doug began drinking alcohol in their teens.  Like many parents, I never condoned it and certainly never bought it for them.  They knew better than to drink in my presence because they would be grounded.  I gave them the usual parent "lectures" about drinking and driving dangers and the fact that it was illegal for them to be drinking alcohol, while I justified my own use of alcohol with "I'm over 21and I'm legal."  It was the same "logic" that I was raised under...the old "Do as I say, not as I do" method of raising kids.  I never realized the hypocrisy of that approach until long after their beliefs an attitudes regarding drinking were well established.

By the time Doug was in high school I had already remarried.  Eventually my wife and I bought a two story house on 1.5 acres in a small community near West, the small city where both boys were raised and attended school.  They chose to live with us and became very close to the stepbrother and stepsister they inherited.  Life was good.

Robert's Death

That all changed with Robert's sudden and certainly unexpected death.  My grief was immense and I "poured myself" into underage drinking prevention efforts and speaking in schools.  I was determined to try to make something positive come from Robert's senseless death.  I'm certainly not the first parent to "carry their child's story forward" through activism, in hope it would prevent another young person from meeting the same fate, as well as prevent another family from experiencing such a devastating loss.  Many mental health and grief experts will say often grieving parents find doing this to be therapeutic and a part of healing their grief.  Maybe it is, but I never looked at it that way.  I just looked at it as a way to see that Robert didn't die in vain, although nothing can "justify" a person losing their life at such a young age.  

Doug became even more withdrawn after Robert's death.  I had numerous conversations with him about what I was doing and why.  I didn't want him to feel that I was "discrediting" the memory of his brother.  I asked him more than once to come to one of my school presentations, not to speak, (because I knew with Doug's shyness he would never stand before a large crowd and speak), but to see how I presented his brother's story, and for him to see the impact it was having on many of the students.  He said "I understand why you are doing what you do, but I just can't do it.  I can't be there, at least not now."

I was deeply concerned with the grief Douglas was holding inside.  I had yet to see him truly break down since his brother's death, and although I was certainly no grief expert, I DID know that during my private moments when I totally lost it, it started opening the door to healing.  I gave him every opportunity to "share his grief and let it out," telling him to forget all that macho crap about "real men don't cry," because even the strongest man will cry when the pain becomes severe enough.  He just wasn't comfortable in sharing his grief.  As I've learned through this ordeal, every person grieves in their own way and I didn't push him.  I just wanted him to know I was there if he ever wanted to open up and let it loose.  

Five months after Robert's death Doug was arrested for DWI.  I was devastated, to say the least.  When I talked a few weeks later to the police officer who arrested him he said, "Yeah, I remember your son.  He and a friend were parked in an industrial area where there had been several burglaries."  When the officer drove up to see what they were doing there, (it was after midnight and they stopped there only to "relieve themselves), Doug tried to flee.  Fortunately he quickly abandoned that idea and pulled his truck to a stop.  The officer smelled beer on his breath, did a field sobriety test, and Doug consented to a breath test.  He was .082 according to the reading on the breathalyzer.  The officer said when he told Doug he was arresting him for DWI Doug said, "My dad's gonna have a f***ing heart attack."  I almost did.

It soon became apparent to me that Doug was medicating his pain with more than just alcohol.  His mood swings were becoming more pronounced, far more obvious than just part of the grief cycle.  His attitude and the way he interacted with family, his erratic sleep patterns and losing his job made it obvious he was using drugs.  I offered to get him counseling and treatment, just as I had offered Robert when I saw his drinking was becoming a problem.  Like Robert, Doug was in denial.  And as I learned from Robert's situation, a parent can't force "an adult child" into treatment or counseling.  So I set strict house and curfew rules.  It got to the point that I was having to throw water on his face when I couldn't get him to wake up to go to work and he still wouldn't get up.  I was at my wits end.  I had tried the love approach and cut him more slack than I had ever been given when I was under my parents roof.  I tried discipline.  Nothing was working.  All I knew was that I buried one son and I wasn't going to be an enabler and aid him in his path of self destruction.  I finally went with the "Tough Love" approach, and quickly learned why they call it by that name.  I kicked Doug out of the house; one of the most painful decisions of my life.  He moved in with his mother and didn't speak to me for over two years.

A New Beginning

My prayer was answered when I came home from work and my wife said "Doug called today and asked if he could come by to talk to us."  That evening when he came to our house I saw a Douglas that I had never seen before.  He was soft spoken and quite frankly looked like he had been run over by a train.  He was a broken man.  He finally hit rock bottom.  He apologized for the disrespect he had shown toward all of us, said he knew his life had reached a dead end.  He asked if we would help him get his life straightened out and back on the right track.  I told him we were always there for him, even though the drugs blinded him from ever understanding that at the time.  I asked him how serious he was and he said that he had gone to rehab and was clean.  He said he would take a drug test if I didn't believe him.  He said he wanted to go to Technical College and get a degree in Welding Technology.  

Between my wife and I, his mother and grandmother, a small grant and some student loans, we got Doug into college and he totally amazed us.  He maintained a job, never missed a day of class, had a 4.0 grade average and made the Dean's List.  He got his degree, landed a good job, married his high school sweetheart and they were in the early stages of looking for their first house to buy.  Our father-son bond was rebuilt with a love and mutual respect that far exceeded all I have ever hoped for.   

The good news was my son had made a remarkable turnaround in his life and had a great future ahead of him.  With the years of his drug abuse and  addiction burned into my memory, and knowing from that experience the telltale signs of someone "using", it was clear to me that Doug had "beat his demons" and was "clean."  He was stable and focused.  I "had my son back" and was so proud of the man he had become.  What wasn't obvious to me was that he was still struggling with one demon.  That demon was alcohol addiction.

Meanwhile my second marriage had ended in divorce.  I accepted a position with a company in Florida that was involved in teen driver safety and moved to the Florida West Coast, south of Tampa.  A time I will treasure until I die was the weekend I flew Doug out for a visit.  I chartered a guide that took us bay fishing.  We took the fish we caught back to my place, where we grilled them on an outdoor grill.  My boss invited us to join her and others for a boat ride on her luxury boat out into the Gulf of Mexico.  I also took Doug to a popular beach in Clearwater that had a live band playing on a deck at the edge of the beach.  The "scenery" was awesome, as was the bonding time.  I told him on his next visit we would charter a larger boat and go deep sea fishing.  Little did I know that weekend would be his only trip to Florida.

The Phone Call I'll Never Forget

On Saturday, August 12, 2006, I awoke and went into the kitchen to make some coffee.  My cell phone was on the charger on the breakfast bar.  I glanced at it and saw I had two voicemails from Doug's mother.  She had called at around 2:15am Florida time.  The ringer on the phone was on silent and I missed her calls.  After listening to the first voicemail and hearing "Douglas was in a wreck."  I immediately hung up my phone and called her.  When she answered I said, "Is he OK?  Was anyone hurt?"  She said "He has a concussion but he's going to be OK.  Jack, it was bad.  A lady was killed and her kids were hurt , one of them really bad."  It took me a few seconds to process what she said.  Then I asked the question, "Had he been drinking?"  I heard her take a deep breath before replying, "Yes."  At that moment I had that same "kicked in the chest by a horse" feeling that I had the day they told me Robert was dead.  This can't be happening, I thought to myself.  Unfortunately it DID happen, and none of us can go back and change it now.

As I would learn as the story unfolded, on the night of the crash Doug was told by his wife that she and her mother were going to go play bingo and he was invited to join them if he wanted to.  He elected instead to go visit with a friend in a neighboring city.  While there they drank several beers.  He left his friend's house at a little after 10:30 pm.  Doug's cell phone records were important, which I will explain in a moment.  

As Doug's cell phone records indicated, he called his wife's cell phone at 10:52pm to tell her he was on his way home.  The call lasted 14 seconds before it was dropped.  His next call, also at 10:52pm, was a 24 second call to his mother's home phone number, (where he and his wife were living, as they were trying to save money to buy their first house), to talk to his wife.  At 10:53pm his wife called him back from her cell phone.  That call lasted 1 minute and 11 seconds.  At 10:55pm Doug called the cell phone of a friend who was riding in the pickup truck that he would later attempt to pass.  That call lasted 1 minute and 38 seconds.  Doug's next call was to 911 at 11:01pm.  The call lasted 2 minutes and 24 seconds.  That means the wreck happened between 10:57pm and 11:01pm.

I mention the detailed phone records, which are part of the court records, because several false allegations were made that I want to set the record straight on.  As Doug was trying to get out of his truck, the friend that he attempted to pass saw the wreck and returned to the scene.  Doug tried to open the driver's door of his truck, but it wouldn't open because the impact crushed the fender into the door.  He tried to open the passenger door and encountered the same problem.  He had to crawl out the window of the passenger door to get out of his truck.  During this time his two friends were now standing by Doug's truck as he crawled out the window.  After having just been in an almost  head on collision, and having had an air bag blow up in his face and also hitting his head inside the truck, common logic would tell you he was dazed, and it took a few seconds for him to process what had just happened.  His first words to his friends were "Oh my God!  What do we do?  Call 911?  What do we do?"  When he realized how severe the crash was he immediately called 911.  The next call on his cell phone records was placed to his mother's house, to tell her and his wife that he had just had a wreck.  That call was made at 11:05pm.

During the course of all this, Debbie's middle child, Andrew, who I believe was age 9 or 10 at the time of the crash and sustained a serious compound fracture of one of his arms where the bone was protruding through his skin, had gotten out of his mother's truck and overheard Doug say "Do we call 911?"  He related that to the investigating State Trooper, or one of the Sheriff's Deputies that also responded to the crash, and the result was quotes to the media that Doug may have debated whether or not to call 911.  That allegation understandably enraged the public, and I can only imagine how it impacted Debbie's grieving family.  And even more damning false allegations would soon follow.

The call history on Doug's cell phone clearly showed WHO he called that night, in what order the calls were made, and how long each call lasted.  You can't manipulate on a cell phone the records of outgoing and incoming calls, but I knew that wouldn't be enough.  We needed the official records.  The District Attorney's office would not release Doug's subpoenaed cell phone records or recordings of the 911 calls because the case was still under investigation.  I didn't really care what the public thought at that point.  "Trial by media" is all to common these days and far too many people assume if "they heard it on the TV News or read it in the newspaper then it must be true."  But I DID care how that false allegation was impacting Debbie's grieving family.  I can only imagine the additional pain and rage they felt after being led to believe that Doug would even consider not calling 911 for help. Every time I pressed Doug's attorney to get those records his response was "The records will show the D.A. that Doug called 911as soon as he saw how serious the crash was."  Great, the D.A. will know the truth, but what about the family mourning Debbie's death?  They needed to immediately know that.  

By this time I had moved back to Waco.  After my pressures to get Doug's attorney to get those records "fell on deaf ears" I consulted with a private investigator.  He told me if I hired him THROUGH Doug's attorney's office and payment was received through that office that he would legally be part of Doug's defense team and that the D.A. would have to make copies of those records available to us.  Needless to say, my level of confidence in Doug's attorney was rapidly declining.  I thought to myself  "How could he not understand the emotional trauma this false information was putting Debbie's family through?"  I hired the investigator, called Doug's attorney, and said "I have hired a private investigator to assist you with Doug's case.  I need to set up a time for you to meet him so we can discuss the next steps."

The private investigator was able to get Doug's cell phone records. the logs documenting the 911 calls, and the actual recordings of those calls.  They supported Doug's statements to me and the call history on his cell phone.  Those records also confirmed WHY it took so long that night for medical help to arrive.  The wreck occurred in far north McLennan County, just a few miles south of Hill County.  The cell tower that picked up Doug's call routed it to the 911 operator in Hill County and it was obvious from the tape recording of the first of two calls Doug made to 911 that the operator had no clue where the location of the crash was.  Finally he was able to get her to understand that the crash was NOT in Hill County and the call was routed to the McLennan County 911 operator, where Doug's call was placed on hold before he finally got to talk to them and tell them where he was, what had happened, and that ambulances were needed immediately.  He was told EMS was being notified.  

As I said earlier, that call to 911 was placed at 11:01 pm and lasted 2 minutes and 24 seconds.  Doug's next call, at 11:05 pm, was made to his mother's house, where he was calling her and his wife to tell them about the wreck and where he was.  That call lasted 1 minute and 23 seconds.  His wife and his mother immediately headed to the scene of the crash.  While in route to the wreck his wife called her mother, who lived only a couple of miles from the crash site and told her about Doug's call.  Doug's mother-in-law also immediately drove to the crash site, arriving at the same time as Doug's wife and his mother.  As they got out of their vehicles they could see Doug standing in the middle of the road screaming at someone on his cell phone.  That "someone" was 911, who he again called at 11:16 pm after ambulances still had not arrived.  Listen to that 911 call and you decide whether or not this sounds like the voice of someone who has no regard for the victims in the crash.  (Note:  This is the portion of the second call to 911 AFTER it had been transferred from Hill County to McLennan County.  You will hear where the 911 operator attempts to call EMS 7 times, getting a busy signal each time.  After 7 attempts the 911 operator tells Doug "We can't get ahold of EMS" and Doug becomes frantic.)  Here is the recording of that call: CLICK HERE

The 911 operator was attempting to reach the ambulance service that was closest to the crash site, which was the Volunteer Ambulance Association in the City of West, located a few miles north of the crash site.  Having years earlier been a volunteer for that service I can tell you it is not a 24 hour fully staffed facility like a fire department.  This is part of why it took so long for medical help to arrive.  The West ambulances are parked in a building on property that was owned by the town's former hospital.  At the time I served volunteers on call were notified of a call by their home phone and a pager.  I would assume by 2006 on call volunteers were called on their cell phone if they weren't home to answer their home phone.  Regardless, a volunteer EMS service will have a longer response time to a call compared to an ambulance dispatched from a 24 hour staffed fire department.

To make matters worse, the EMS unit that responded headed the opposite direction of the crash site after they exited from the highway.  When they couldn't find the wreck they called back and learned they were going the opposite direction.  They turned around and headed east toward the crash site.  After they crossed back over the highway bridge they were blocked by a freight train that was on the tracks that run north and south, parallel to the highway, further delaying their arrival.  Critical time was lost that night, but it was NOT because Doug delayed calling 911.

Doug's wife, mother and his mother-in-law went over to the truck and tried to calm Debbie's two children down, who were trapped in the truck and hysterical, assuring them that help was on the way.  They checked Debbie and she had no pulse.  A man and his teen aged son also arrived on the scene and checked on the victims in the truck.  They would later give "embellished" testimony at Doug's trial, which I will simply leave at that.

When EMS finally arrived Doug's wife was asked to move her car further from the shoulder of the road, which she did.  His mother-in-law saw Andrew, who was out of the truck, and at first didn't realize he had been in the wreck.  When she saw his injured arm she approached the EMS workers and told them of his injury.  Doug's mother and the father of the driver of the truck Doug had attempted to pass, (the father lived just down the road from the crash site and had received a call from his son)  asked Andrew to sit down until EMS could check him.  Then Doug's mother, seeing the damage to his truck and knowing it would obviously be towed somewhere, she first looked in the cab of his truck and retrieved his checkbook and other personal items.  Then she removed from the bed of his truck a small bathroom heater and empty cooler, never even dreaming that might be construed as "tampering with evidence," which it later was.

After Andrew mentioned to the Trooper that he saw Doug's mother remove a cooler and some "other things" from his truck, the Trooper inspected the empty cooler that his mother placed in Doug's wife's car.  Law enforcement thoroughly searched the area for full containers of beer or other alcohol and found none.  Later the news media would further sensationalize the case by reporting that allegations were made that Doug "may have" called his mother BEFORE calling 911 so she could "clean up the crime scene."  I knew that was preposterous because I KNEW Doug was not the heartless "Charles Manson personality" the media was portraying him as, his cell records PROVED who was called and when, and his mother had also recently had back surgery.  There was no possible way she could have lifted the cooler if it had ice and beer in it.  But Debbie's family didn't know that, and once again I was furious as to how such an allegation was undoubtedly tearing their hearts up.

For the record, Doug's mother volunteered to take a polygraph exam.  She was suffering from a bad case of bronchitis when the exam was scheduled.  The examiner told her there was no way he could get accurate test results.  They rescheduled the test and the second time the examiner was still concerned because she has asthma and these tests are heavily influenced by any breathing patterns and sensitivities.  The examiner told the D.A. that Doug's mother was not an acceptable candidate for a polygraph, but he felt she was being truthful, based on how she acted at each meeting and the fact that she didn't try to back out of either schedule exam.  Unfortunately the media didn't report this or the other evidence on hand that showed the allegations were unsupported by facts, until this all became part of the court testimony at Doug's trial, which was almost two years after the crash.

What I never understood was what relevance it would have had in the case even if Doug DID have a cooler with beer in the bed of his pickup truck.  THAT would not have convicted him.  His BAC from the blood sample they drew from him at the hospital where he was first taken before being taken to jail would be the admissible evidence they needed for a conviction.  Doug never considered a not guilty defense.  He knew he was guilty and to plead not guilty would be a slap in the face to an already grieving family.  He also elected to stay in the county jail until his trial instead of bonding out, to spare Debbie's family the additional anguish of them knowing he was free and at home while Debbie would never be coming home. 

Yet none of the details I wrote above outweigh the fact that once again, as is the case every day in some part of this country, a person's decision to drive a vehicle after consuming alcohol resulted in an innocent victim's life being taken, and others were injured.  What happened that night in August, 2006 was horrible.  A loving 35-year-old mother lost her life that night.  Three children were injured and, more important, lost the mother they loved.  Debbie's husband  drove upon the crash site while going to look for her after calls to her cell phone were unanswered.  At the scene he is told his wife is dead and his daughter and two other step children are headed to three different hospitals.  Ashley, his 7-year-old daughter, was flown by helicopter to a children's hospital in Fort Worth, 80 miles north, because her injuries were critical.   Andrew was treated at a Waco hospital, 20 miles south, for a severely broken arm.  14-year-old Megan was flown 50 miles south to another hospital and treated for a concussion and multiple cuts on her face and mouth.

Forget about all the false allegations regarding this story that I have shared.  Just read the paragraph above again.  That in itself is enough to probably cause most of you reading this to hate Doug.  That's understandable.  But you need to ALSO understand that in all likelihood that is exactly how society and a jury are going to feel toward you if you make the choice to drive after drinking and cause a similar tragedy.  The fact that you never intended to hurt or kill anyone will mean nothing.  If you have the intelligence to drive a vehicle then society and a judge and jury will expect you to have the intelligence to know that you shouldn't operate a vehicle while impaired in any way.  To do so shows a lack of regard for anyone's life you may endanger.  And if God forbid you critically injure or kill someone while driving impaired you WILL be vigorously prosecuted.  You will find little sympathy from 12 strangers if you elect to have a jury trial instead of agreeing to have a judge determine your punishment.  One of every three families has been affected in some way by someone who has driven impaired.  ONE in THREE.  Based on that percentage, the odds are high that 4 of the 12 people who will choose your fate have in some way been personally affected by someone who made the choice to drive after drinking.  There was a period in time when much of our society was more lenient in these cases.  Those days are history.  As a prosecutor will vividly argue, these are crashes, not "accidents."  Some accidents aren't preventable.  That's why they are called accidents.  But EVERY drunk driving crash is preventable.  The driver COULD have made the choice to not drive while under the influence.

Douglas was charged with one count of intoxication manslaughter and three counts of intoxication assault, one count for each of the injured children.  The manslaughter charge carried a maximum punishment of 20 years in prison.  Each assault charge carried a 10 year maximum prison sentence.  Doug faced a maximum of 50 years in prison.  The jury spoke loud and clear.  On the manslaughter charge: 20 years in prison.  For injuries sustained by the youngest child: 10 years in prison.  On the other two assault charges: 5 years each, probated AFTER Doug is released from prison.  Total sentence including the 10 years he will be on probation, where one violation will send him back to prison again, 40 years.  The jury also ruled that his truck was a deadly weapon, which upgraded the charges to "aggravated," meaning he will have to serve at least 50% of his sentence before he will even be eligible for parole.  

With multiple prison sentences a judge almost always has the discretion to order the sentences to be served concurrently (side by side, or simultaneously), on consecutively, meaning each sentence must be served before the next sentence begins.  The judge ordered Doug's sentences to be served consecutively, meaning that he will serve a very minimum of 15 years before he could ever see freedom again, and it is highly unlikely he will be granted parole the first time he comes up for consideration.  In cases where victims are involved it is rare that an offender is granted parole on his or her "first time up."  

The Origin and Depth of Doug's Addiction

As I said early in this story, it became apparent that Doug was using drugs after Robert's death.  (For those of you who may be wondering, a complete toxicology test was done on Doug's blood sample taken after the crash and there were no illegal drugs in his system.  His BAC that was entered as evidence in his trial was .09 something.  I don't recall the exact percentage.)  What I didn't know, and wouldn't know until years later, was when Doug's drug abuse began, or the severity of it.

In November of 2009 I asked Doug if he would consider writing an "open letter" to the students that I speak to during school presentations, knowing that in all likelihood the Texas Prison System will never allow Doug to join me and speak at one of these presentations while he is incarcerated.  A few days later I received a three page handwritten letter from Doug.  Here is a portion of what he wrote:

"At the age of 15 I wanted to grow up too fast.  I drank and regularly used speed and cocaine.  I went to school just enough to get by.  While my classmates were planning their future I was planning my next high.

I will also say this.  There are two types of people.  Two 16-year-olds can take the same drug or alcohol and achieve the exact same high and burn out as the other.  They are both going to feel sick when it is over.  One will say "The high was fun, but I feel terrible.  I'm never using again."  The other will say, "I fell terrible.  But man, what about that high!"  Another addict is born.

At 17 I managed to graduate from high school.  I was a functioning addict.  I had a job, girlfriend, and what appeared to be a normal life; but I was secretly a slave to methamphetamine.  This would all change at the age of 18 with the death of my hero.  My fun loving, drug free brother died in an alcohol related accident and I lost touch with reality.  My drug abuse escalated dramatically, and I spent the next 3 years with a needle in my arm.  Life and my family were no longer important to me."

I was literally floored by what Doug had written.  It was obvious after Robert's death that Doug had withdrawn from family and was using drugs, but I had no idea he had reached a point where he was actually injecting meth into his body.  Doug went on to write:

"At age 21, rehab and the determined love of a woman would get me off the drugs and a college education, but I was still sick.  I allowed my family back into my life, but going untreated the legal drug alcohol crept back up.  In no time I was single, then married a year later to my high school sweetheart.  I hid my alcoholism the best that I could, until my wife started realizing that I would black out  and forget half of the night.  Where she thought the party started at 8 pm, I had started my own at 10 am while she was working.  I had a good job and learned a decent living for us, (Note: Doug was a contract welder, where he would work on a job site until the project was completed.  Then he might be off 2 to 6 weeks before another contract job opened up.  The amount of money he made on those jobs, along with doing freelance welding for others, was enough to carry them through until the next contract job opportunity opened up.  As a result, he often had "free time" on his hands while his wife worked as a hair stylist during the day.), but I was out of control.  By 2006 my drinking problem was out in the open with myself and my wife, but I still thought I could control it.  I did, until August 11th of that year...a day that so many people will never forget."

Doug went on to write about the crash and devastation he caused.  I am omitting that portion of his letter here, in the event some of Debbie's family members happen upon this web site.  God knows they have suffered enough and don't need to re-live that night again by reading the graphic details here.

"Much of what I remember from that night is a feeling of helplessness, frustration and regret.  Every minute felt like an hour.  People are dying and none of it had to happen.

It wasn't until my trial that I realized what an awesome human being Debbie was.  They showed a picture of a woman with a beautiful smile and an unending love for her family, horses, and just life itself.  She wanted nothing but the best for her children.  She was the ultimate Super Mom with a heart of gold who went to an early grave because of me and me alone.  Now her children have been left with a hole in their hearts, and have been forever robbed of the joy she once brought them, because of my actions.  She will never ride another horse, take another walk with her husband, or be the light in so many lives ever again, because I chose to drink and drive.  This is a debt that is impossible to repay and a feeling that can't be explained.

You may never know until it's too late, and you carry the weight and horrific images of death and disaster caused by your careless actions, which one you are:  the addict, or the one who turned away.  No matter how sorry you are, some things can never be fixed or forgiven.  The sad thing is both the addict and first time drinkers can ruin lives.

Don't think that you can't relate to someone who used to inject poison into their arms.  I too was raised better than that, and it all started with that first beer and the high that I chased.  I encourage you to not drink, but if you do, I beg you to not drink and drive."

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"It's Not About Me"

I went to the prison to see Doug shortly after I received his letter.  I thanked him for "opening up" as much as he did, acknowledging how out of character that was for someone who is shy by nature.  

When people who are impacted by this web site email me, they often mention whatever it was they read here that "opened their eyes" or caused them to re-evaluate their own thoughts about drinking and driving.  For many it's something they read in Robert's story.  For others it was something they read in another person's story here.  One college student wrote to say he never considered driving after drinking, but was shocked to learn of the number of young people who die from alcohol poisoning.  He said that as a result of just seeing the sheer number of faces of students who died from alcohol poisoning he was "cutting way back on how much I drink."  

I told Doug I thought if nothing else on this web site wakes people up to the REAL dangers of drinking and driving, maybe the thought of being in prison would, and how I had hoped he would have included something in his letter about what life is like for him, being an inmate.  I'll never forget what he said.  He immediately replied, "Dad, it's not about me.  It's about what I did.  It's about Debbie French, a stranger that I killed.  It's about her kids that I hurt, and about what I took from them and Debbie's entire family that I can never give back to them.  My choice to drive after drinking that night hurt so many people.  It's not about me.  My choices are what put me here.  Your message needs to be about the innocent lives that drinking and driving destroys, and not about my life now."

I can't disagree with what Doug said, and I have tried to make it crystal clear that he was not and is not a victim in this tragic story.  Debbie French and her family are the true victims, and that fact should never be overlooked.  I'm relatively certain that after I print this section of the web site and mail it to Doug that his response will be that I DID write too much about him, as far as about his general personality and "make up."  My response will be that I did the same thing when describing his brother, because more and more young people would tell me after a school presentation or in an email that they "saw a piece of themselves" in something they learned about Robert, and that made his story more relative to them.

Both Doug and I have shared much about his battles with addictions.  That should NOT be mistakenly perceived as an attempt to shift the blame from Doug to addiction, as far as the cause of what happened that fateful night in 2006.  "Addiction" did not kill Debbie French and injure her three children.  Doug's decision to drive after drinking was the direct cause of the crash, and he has never denied that.  Alcoholism often contributes to a person's drinking habits, and their decision to drive after drinking, but it is never an excuse for driving while intoxicated.  

It can also not be denied that a large number of DWI offenders ARE alcoholics, and alcoholism IS an addiction.  That is a fact.  Many who read Doug's story will be people who meet the clinical definition of an alcoholic.  Some will be in denial, while others are honest enough to admit, at least to themselves, that they have a serious drinking problem, yet are not at the stage where they are willing to seek treatment.  It is both my and Doug's hope that those who are at that point, after reading how his untreated alcoholism unquestionably played a role in his choice to drive that night, WILL be inspired to seek treatment before THEY cause a similar tragedy and end up where he is now.

Regardless of what your viewpoint or life situation may be, if you are ever in a position where you are about to make a choice as to whether or not to drive while under the influence of alcohol or ANY drug, I pray something you read on this page or elsewhere in the web site will help you make the right choice.

Our prayers continue to be extended to the family of Debbie Selman French.

This site is best viewed with the latest version of Microsoft Internet Explorer.